Monday, March 27, 2006

You're fucking retarded!!

So I went o McDonalds today for lunch. I was greated by this dopey looking kid. I assumed he was just ugly until he began to speak. Then, bells and whistles went off and I realized he was just another fucking retard. Anyway, my total came to $7.02 and I gave the downy a $20 bill. He gave me $2.98 back in change. I protested that he had given me change for a $10 bill. He said in his slurring retard voice, "Sihurr, uhh, you did not givemea twenty dollars bill. I assurrrrre you."

Here's the deal. I went to a bank machine with NO MONEY in my pocket. I took out $200 ALL IN TWENTIES. I gave this little retarded a $20 bill and he is looking at me through his glazed half asian eyes treating me like I'm the trisomy 21 victim. He got a manager over and she made a point of telling me that "Danny" never makes errors. Okay, let me get this straight. People with degrees, 50 years experience in their job and OCD can make mistakes BUT super human retarded Danny never makes them. Fucking McDonalds, I felt like yelling, "THIS KID ID RETARDED!! YEAH YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED!!" But whatever, I got my 10 more dollars and on the way home remembered I had stopped for a paper before McDonalds so I probably did give him a ten. Oh well.

Man I am a dick.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Fat Chicks.

Why the fuck do fat chicks think guys give a shit about them? I was at the bar for a beer for an hour and this 160 pounder sits at the bar and tries to strike up a conversation with me. She asks, "I've seen you here a lot, is this your regular bar?" I was stunned. Did this fat, stretch mark ridden bitch just pretend she wasn't the most repulsive thing in here? Does she really think I am drunk enough to give her the time of day? I replied, "Listen hun, I am only on my third beer. Move along, have a burger or something."

Fucking fat chicks, when will they ever learn?

Social Assistance.

This guy is the reason why some people argue that social assistance programs are not helping society.

Steven Colbert

You are not Steven Colbert. Trust me. There is only ONE Steven Colbert. You cannot ever be Steven Colbert. You will never do justice to his skits. And no I did not not "get it" when you tired to set up his skit using your desk as his and a pen as a guitar. God, why not just yell, "I'm Rick James." all day you fucking power tool.

LEARN HOW TO FUCKING SPELL!!

If U R reeding this and U like the way i speld this sentense, U R prolly a mentul reetard.

Don't you hate receiving E-mails like that? I am REALLY tired of the current trend (popular among high schoolers with short attention spans) to abbreviate words into letters so that their written thoughts become nothing more than alphabet soup.

I am also tired of people who misspell words. Not typos, but massacres of real words, (eg. The common use of "prolly" instead of "probably") that one must question whether they actually know how to pronounce it.

Go back to school you fucking idiots. Trust me, the time you save by butchering the English language you most definitely will lose in recovery time once I find you and kick the living shit out of you.

ttul

Podcasting. What a productive day.

So I am podcasting my bullshit mouth spew now. You can check it out here for now. Man, I have had such a productive day. Pat Sajak is a fucking tool.

My Odeo Channel

Fat Celebrities, a.k.a the Michael Moore rant.

What the fuck are these people doing?

No one wants to see Michael Moore's fat ass on television. Nobody in their right mind could care less about Starr Jones, she is loud, annoying and ignorant. Why aren't these lazy, fat Americans working with trainers or dieticians to drop the pounds? Maybe Michael Moore is such a pussy because he hasn't seen his dick in years, who knows? I just wish someone would fallow them around with a giant mirror so they had to look at their fat selves. Maybe then they would drop the cake. Hell, I would.

What I really did Sunday March 26th.

It is 4:30PM where I am.

Here is what I have done today.

I woke up to piss at 8:30AM. Masturbated and went back to sleep.
I then woke again at 10:45 to piss, I trimmed my pubes out of boredom and went to sleep.
My dog was crying at 12PM to go outside and piss, so I masturbated, put on some pants and took him out.
At 2PM I decided to get up for the day. I came downstairs. Looked for a new place to live. Watched a porno where this women (the mom) forces the young babysitter to suck and fuck the dad. Sooner or later the mom joins in and it is a wicked porn. I masturbated, showered and ordered an all meat pizza. Everyone I know thinks I'm a vegetarian.
The pizza came at 3:20, I ate some, registered this blog and started away.

It's 4:37PM now, I'll likely never post again.

Hi, I'm That Guy

I am about to embark on a journey created out of restlessness. I am bored. I have nothing to do and I realy want to grace the world with my cocky, selfish, educated inner thoughts that I wouldn't normally be able to share. Socially acceptable, nope. Politically correct, not this guy. To the point, blunt and over the top, you can count on it.

Brace yourselves, because it's on.